i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
