he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
