We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dignity is for republicans.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
this hospital has no fireball
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
