there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
