I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
