He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
