ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
