He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
