Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
