It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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