i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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