we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
