Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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