I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize