i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
