Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
