It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
