Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
