dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
