I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
