"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
