i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
