there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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