We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
