Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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