Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
