Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
