So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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