Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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