im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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