After last night, I could never be a politician.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
