There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
