i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
