YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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