I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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