their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
