I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
