Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
