I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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