halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
