I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
