Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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