i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
