For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
