She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
