new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
