how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
