; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
