Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
