you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
