So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
