Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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