I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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