I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
