Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
