I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
