The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
