so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
