Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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