I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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