i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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