I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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