Please, let me fuck your mom
We named our party play list daddy issues
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
