We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
