I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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